Snatch'd: BACK IN THE DAY TOWERS WERE WAY COOLER

(Because of the executions, of course)

Another edition of Snatch'd: Rating the London tourist traps (I apologize for the font being all effed up, but I can't fix it right now)

More free field trips from Syracuse. This time: Tower of London and Westminster Abbey. Let's rate'em.

Snatch'd No. 4: Tower of London / (4 out of 10)

"If you look in that direction, you won't see a castle."


Brad's got some devious plans for that catapult.


What's everyone so excited for? Why it's a public execution!

Price: Adult (16+) tickets cost £16.50
Hours: 9:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. through Oct. 31 (Tues-Sat.);10:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. (Sun.)
Location: Take the London Underground to Tower Hill.
Stupid fact: Tower of London is supposed to be super haunted. Famed hauntees include just about everyone executed there including a headless Anne Boleyn and all the dead folks in the aptly named Blood Tower. But my favorite apparition to brave the Tower — a bear.* In the 1800s a ghost bear(!) attacked guard at the tower. He tried to stab it with a bayonet. It went through the bear, but cause the bear to disappear. The soldier died of fright a couple days later.

The Tower of London is a castle. So it's got that going for it. But I feel once you've seen one castle you've seen them all. There was nothing particular thrilling about walking through the castle either. It was chilly, so that didn't help.

Still, the castle was intriguing because of all the crazy **** that went down there. Prisoners of all shapes and sizes, cannons and archers guarded them and public executions were always going down. Here's the facts you need to know. After reading them. They're pretty interesting. But since nobody is currently being decapitated at the castle, it makes a visit to the castle slightly less exciting.

-King Hery VIII imprisoned just about everyone here. And executed most of them too. Also, in the tower is King Henry's armor...the armor he wore after he let himself go.*

-The Tower of London was a big fan of torture back in the day. King Henry VIII was a huge fan of the rack. He was less of an advocate for the comfy chair.

-Only important people were executed inside the tower. Non-royals got the axe just outside the tower walls. That way everyone could enjoy it.

-King Charles II loved ravens. He said if they ever left England, the whole country would fall. So ravens still live there. I never realized ravens were so damn huge. These are awesome, majestic-looking birds. With cool names like Gwylum and Thor

-The Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom can be seen here. They're worth a lot of dolla dolla bills.

Snatch'd No. 4: Westminster Abbey / (6 out of 10)

On Westminster Abbey there's figures of people who died for their faith. In the middle, the one American: Martin Luther King Jr.

A rare look at a tour group inside Westminster Abbey.

Westminster Abbey is also a school. Betcha didn't know that.

Price: Adult (16+) tickets cost £12.00
Hours: 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 a.m. Mon-Sat.

Location: Take the London Underground to either St. James Park or Westminster
Stupid fact: Westminster Abbey features both gothic and decorated gothic styles of architecture. Don't I sound smart? No idea what it means.

Usually I don't care about beautiful architecture. Usually I don't care about famous dead people's graves. Yet somehow Westminster Abbey won me over. The church's fascinating history is complimented so well by all the awesome designs that it's hard not get bored (although not impossible...). It's still a fairly run-of-the-mill tourist-y tour, but my favorite so far.

I mean, check out this sweet architecture. And check out these famous dead people buried here!

The top five people you're probably aware of:
-Charles Darwin
-Isaac Newton
-Charles Dickens*
-Laurence Olivier (found in the pretty cool Poets' Corner with nerds like Geoffrey Chaucer and Rudyard Kipling.)
-Mary Queen of Scots

-- Foot notes
*Are you listening to Stephen Colbert? Ghost bears!!! This is untapped comedy cold.
*How fat was King Henry VIII during his latter days? Well, when he died dogs found his coffin before it was buried and ate his delicious flesh. I can't really remember how this story goes, but that's the gist of it.
*Wow old, geniuses back in the day had awesome facial hair. I'm gonna grow a Darwin.